I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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