ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
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