Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
