so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
