At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
