What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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