I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
