I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
My dick has a subreddit
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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