so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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