U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
