jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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