Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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