some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
