I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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