Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
