Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
