dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
