my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
