dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
