So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We don't watch enough power rangers
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I need to align my fucking chakras
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