lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
