The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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