Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
