I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
