what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
