I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
