It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
