You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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