Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Help. Why am I so naked?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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