Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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