I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
