I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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