meet me or not, i'm out of control
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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