i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
