What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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