bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
