Quick, to the slutcave!
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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