dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
