I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
