the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
