I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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