Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
