This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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