I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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