Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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