MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The dick lei will go down in squad history
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
