great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
