i used baking grease as lip gloss
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
