Christians are straight up FREAKS
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
