My sheets look like a crime scene.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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