if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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