Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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