Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
