you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
