you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
